Chupacabra Update!

As promised, here are a pair of photos illustrating injuries from my last two Chupacabra encounters.  Again, I'd like to assert the very real threat they pose. As one can see, the little bastards bite like crazy. The damned things seem to always attack from behind. Consequently, most of my pocks range from the top of my buttocks to the middle of my back.  They also tend to hit me around the waistline while I'm trying to swat the fuckers off.

In this first photo you can see how angry the wound is. This is due to the toxicity of the anticoagulant present in their saliva. The bites always infect and leave behind telltale scars. I didn't have a decent metric ruler on hand to accurately document the size of the bite, but I'd estimate it at about one centimeter across and twice that in length.  This was from an attack ten days ago and is located in the middle of my back, just next to my spine.  Unfortunately, the infection is severe enough that I will require surgical interdiction to keep the Chupacabra venom (Suberatoxin) from spreading. Usually a perimeter ring develops around the initial wound in five to seven days. At that stage the border of the necrosis is defined allowing my physician to excise the damaged tissue without taking more than is necessary.

This is a photo Joany took this morning of a pair of bites that are about two weeks old.  My doctor and I have surmised that the beast expended most of its toxic saliva in the first bite thus requiring additional excision and suturing of the surrounding tissues. Thankfully, having spent most of its venom, the second bite (visible in the upper left hand corner) caused significantly less damage.

While I am no cryptozoologist, my hypothesis is that, like the africanized bees we've all been warned about, rising mean global temperatures are extending the range of these critters. The arid conditions of southern Idaho seem to be an ideal habitat for them.  Considering the proliferation of other invasive species such as Nutria (Myocastor coypus) and Asian Swamp Eels (Monopterus albus) that have been found as far north on the eastern seaboard as New Jersey, these recent incursions of Chupacabra here in the pacific northwest may well be an indication of what is to come.

Though I haven't managed to bag one yet, I can assert from personal experience that they strike silently and with lightning speed. They flee just as quickly. Fast enough that I've barely even had a look at them. I managed to catch one of them in the beam of my Maglite for a fraction of a second before it leapt away. I can only say that they appear to be some kind of simian rodent that move just as nimbly on two feet as on four. Their eyes appear quite large for the size of their heads, almost owl-like.

If you happen to notice an uptick in lost pets reported in your neighborhood, I'd advise you to keep the family dog as well as your children indoors at night.

You can't be too careful with these things, take my word for it.